What should family meetings look like?
King, Queen, the family council is one of the most ancient and powerful governance tools in African tradition — known across the continent as the palaver, a sacred space where every voice is heard and decisions are reached by consensus, not domination. Structure your family meeting like this: open with a moment of gratitude or prayer to ground the gathering spiritually. Pass a speaking object — a carved stick, a stone, a meaningful item — and establish the rule that only the holder speaks while all others listen without interruption. Review the family’s shared goals and values. Address concerns, celebrate wins, and make decisions together. Close with an affirmation or commitment each member speaks aloud. Hold these councils consistently — weekly or bi-weekly — so they become an expectation, not an event. A family that governs itself with intention governs itself with power. Democracy begins at home.